Monday, January 27, 2014

My Big Secret Revealed

I did it. I finally did it. I told manfriend that I have hyperhidrosis. I'm hesitant to write this post since I also told him about the blog. If he's curious and does some basic web research he'll find me here. If you're reading this manfriend, hello, welcome to the blog. Don't worry, I will never use your real name. 

For sake of the blog being reader friendly I'll refer to manfriend as Hansel. 


Twice now I've thought about telling him about HH. For whatever reason it didn't feel quite right. Saturday night a combination of feeling secure in where we are in our relationship and wanting to open up to him made for the right HH bomb dropping conditions. There we were laying in bed having a nice time chatting. I was comfortable in his arms staring up to the ceiling when I said, "So I have something to share. I have hyperhidrosis. That's why I sweat so much." I went on to add that I've had ETS surgery and provided a quick summary of side effects I still suffer from.


This is how you should always picture us.
Moderately famous and good looking.

His response was not what I was expecting. He joked calling me a monster and told me to leave in his playful way. I was in no way offended by this but it wasn't the response I expected nor wanted. He was ready to move on to the next topic.


Wait wait wait just a hot strudel minute there my handsome Hansel. I'm not ready to move on to the next topic. I just told you my most crippling secret. LETS TALK ABOUT THIS. Instead of saying that I turned to my side and became very internal. My mind was running and I couldn't vocalize what I was feeling. A wave of emotion took over to the point where if I looked at him I was afraid I would start to cry.


He asked if I wanted to be left alone so that I could sleep. Hansel sincerely thought I was ready for slumber not that I was riding an emotional roller coaster. I mustered up some confidence to say that I was feeling shy and frankly weird after telling him. 


Then in a tender but very frank way he said, "Nothing has changed. You've told me before that you get sweaty. You're a sweaty girl. So now I know there is a name for it."


There you have it. Nothing has changed. The reveal that I was so ashamed of was simply a sharing moment. As it should be. 


Until of course summer rolls around and I don't want him to touch me because I'm most likely damp through my clothes. Ah! One step at a time though.


How have you told someone about HH? How did they react?