Tuesday, January 21, 2014

My Boss Calls Me Snowflake

How do you deal with hyperhidrosis? There is no quick cure despite what Twitter spammers might claim. For every solution there seems to be a side effect. I had surgery but I still sweat uncontrollably. I can't control or manage my sweat as easy as I'd like, but I can take ownership and responsibility in making my environment comfortable.

My boss started calling me Snowflake. The main reason being I'm constantly seeking shade when we're out and about. 

Snowflake originated when my boss decided she wanted to pick up a HoneyBaked Ham the day before Thanksgiving this last November. I tagged along for the journey. For my American readers, have you tried to get a Honey Baked Ham before Thanksgiving or Christmas? It's pure madness. It's as if we are required to have succulent ham for the holidays. I suppose we are, but my goodness.

HoneyBaked Ham, where you can work on your sun tan.

So there we were standing in a long line. Of course the sun was beaming bright. I think I recall it being around 75. That damn sun was piercing the line with its deathly rays. I felt droplets of sweat forming. The feeling is a familiar one. It's a feeling that I know if it continues will lead to a sweat-stain-embarrassing-disaster.

To my boss I said, "I'm sweating. This sun. I don't know if I can take it."

My boss, "Here stay in the shade. Stay as long as you can." The shade was a small sliver of cool created by a pillar. The shade lasted only moments.

Then my boss suggested, "Go in the liquor store. Go cool off Snowflake. I don't want you to melt."
And that's when Snowflake was born. I'm never ashamed to request the seat in the shade, or request some ice water. "Snowflake, are you melting?," is a comforting phrase.

My coworkers have no clue I suffer from a specific condition called hyperhidrosis, but they know I sweat and that I "melt". They know I get uncomfortable. They're also awesome for accommodating to my sweaty needs.

If you own it, you might just get an awesome nickname out of it.