Welcome! A few notes...

This is both a welcome note and more or less a goodbye note. I will no longer be updating this blog but if it's you're first time here I'd like to help guide you along the blog.

Helpful Posts on ETS Surgery:
ETS Surgery Side Effects
My Experience with ETS Surgery

I had ETS surgery when I was 19 and consider myself an expert on the results. My hands no longer sweat but if I had to make this choice again I would consider exhausting many other options first. My compensation sweating is a daily struggle.

A Few Posts on Depression and Self Exploration:
You Have to Believe That They are Wrong
The No BS Life
Happiness is Personal

The Story That Got Me Blogging:
Riding on the Metro

My #1 Resource for Hyperhidrosis:
SweatHelp.org

Sweaty Products
Below are a few links of products I use and full disclosure I receive a teenie tiny referral bonus from Amazon if you purchase. This isn't a big money maker for me but it might just help fund that next cup of coffee :).

Carpe - This is the only super strong antiperspirant that I've found that I can use on my body to help with ETS compensation sweat. I use it when I'm in a pinch because it can cause some irritation but overall I've been pretty impressed with this lotion. David from Carpe reached out in 2015 with samples and from the reviews on Amazon you can see it's already a hit. It's not a miracle lotion but it can help quite a bit.


Honey Soles - These fit in most shoes (not a pair of Toms or ballet flats) but I really love the way the cork helps wick away sweat. Feels really nice on my feet when I prefer not to wear socks.


Rainbow Hemp Sandals - The only sandals I don't slip and slide in.



Yoga Towels - Sweat all you want in yoga, these towels are my everything!



 -- Signing off for now. I hope you find some of this information helpful!

xoxo,
Sara

The No BS Life

I wrote the first draft of this post over a year ago. I've cleaned it up a bit but the post is very much a reflection of me in 2015; something I'm very proud of.

One of the best gifts I've ever received.

Begin:

The year of no BS.

I've been avoiding this post. It means so much to me that I couldn't even fathom where to begin.

It's July. Oh wait, no it's definitely August. I've been living the year of no bullshit since about December 2014. I can't pin point where it began but I began to say, "Year of no bullshit!"

I turned 29 last month, I've gone through my entire life up until this point very wrapped up in what others thought of me. How I was perceived. How I could control those perceptions. Then I had a major break through with my therapist -- I've spent most of my life controlling my mother's environment to make her happy that our relationship became too codependent and it was spilling into other aspects of my life. My relationship with my mother was suffering because of this. I was trying to control the uncontrollable. 

So I'm working to let that go. I can only control myself. I can only make myself happy.

This blog was a major stepping stone for me as well. Here I am forced to live in truth. You want to hear my struggles and you don't care that I'm sweating through it all. Together we're open and honest. For so long I was used to hiding having hyperhidrosis - making it only worse - and now I admit it fairly openly. The sweating will never go away but I'm far more comfortable in it and as a result I sweat a bit less. 

If you're familiar with comedian Pete Holmes he's a great example of living in truth. His podcast You Made It Weird became an outlet for him to talk about all his weird shit. Also an outlet for me to get some solid laughs as well as have 'holy shit' moments. We all have weird shit! He's a sweaty dude too. He doesn't fall in the hyperhidrosis category as far as I can tell but hey he's talking about being sweaty openly! He's a big ol soggy man sometimes. He talks about his divorce. His "JDates". Plenty of other quirky stuff. Thanks Petey boy! I'm a huge fan. 

Living the year of no bullshit has brought me so much joy. One of the biggest joys, excuse me while I tear up, is connecting with Daniel. My sweet pea, Daniel. We met through mutual friends (it's a way cuter story than that but only so much at once). Our first date, that I initiated mind you, started exactly like this:

We exchange greetings.

Sit down on bar stools.

Daniel blurts, "I want you to know I have no filter."

Amazed I say, "Well this is the year of no bullshit for me."

From that day forward we've held true to those statements. We've been dating, with highs and lows (no bs!), for almost seven months now. This being my longest relationship, Daniel has been very patient as I navigate being vulnerable and letting someone into my world. I had worked so hard recently to be happy alone, I truly was happy alone, it was hard to move into this new territory that was foreign to me.

The greatest aspect of our relationship is knowing we are not dependent on one another to make ourselves happy. I can only control myself. I can only make myself happy. With that obligation removed there is a divine levity to the relationship that makes spending time together so special. 

Daniel has taken it upon himself to find this blog. My heart jumped when I realized he took the time to find it. Google search must be doing the blog good! He's read about my past. There is no escaping my truth. (xoxo).

End.

p.s.

Daniel and I are still happily in love, best friends, roommates and continue to navigate the no bs life. It's funny to read about Pete Holmes because the topics he focuses on has evolved as well and I'm enjoying the progression of his "truthiness" life and his living/growing relationship with Sweet Val (his girlfriend/partner/best friend). 

You know what held me back from posting this for so long? I was waiting for the perfect picture to accompany it. I got the photo MONTHS ago but the post then got away from me. Anyone reading/read Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic? I'm in the thick of that book now and it's a wonderful exploration of creativity. She describes that creativity has the ability to move through you and away from you to find another outlet to let that creativity be born. In a way my creativity and spirit for this blog left me, and for now it's back so I'm harnessing it. I have one more good post in me coming up...

Crying Over Sweat Stains. It Still Happens.

I've been in a sad space for the last few days. I can't quite explain it, and not being able to explain it just perpetuates my sadness. AWESOME. 

Just moments ago I returned home and noticed the sweat stains all over my shirt. Pit stains. Torso stains. Back stains. 

Sadness flooded in like... I don't know what I'm so upset! I don't weep at every sweat stain. It's part of my identity at this point. I manage it. More times than not I am so used to being a sweaty person it doesn't phase me. If you've read other posts I think that's very clear.  

Then there are moments I can't help but feel so disgusting. I think why can't I just go for a walk without dripping through my clothes. My hands no longer sweat thanks to ETS surgery but my body melts down with any kind of physical exertion. I'm a healthy, active person and there is no reason I should be breaking this big of a sweat. Right now I'm crying over sweat. I feel exhausted. For those of you dealing with real problems, my sincere apologies. I'm over me too right now.

I watched Inside Out today. There's a wonderful lesson about sadness. Yadda yadda. Go see it. I won't spoil it for you. I had a rather lovely afternoon. 

I may not understand this sadness right now. Hopefully it will pass soon. It's a hell of a good reminder to book a therapy session because you can be doing just fine and get hit with an emotion like a sack of potatoes and feel like a sack of potatoes for no good reason. Well there are reasons but it doesn't totally make sense to me. 

I texted a few girlfriends this morning about the off feeling. One was feeling it too. Just yesterday I opened up to other friends for their opinion on my state of mind. One of the gals was dealing with something challenging as well. I had the comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone in navigating emotions. 

Emotions are fucked. Sweating is fucked. But it'll all be OK. I promise me and you that. Also, talk about the bad openly and others will open up too. You're not conditioned to be perfect. A friend once sent me a card that said, "Thank you for sharing your humanity." By sharing I find others give a little too. So I encourage you to try it. Share your true self -- sadness and all. 

Now that I've shared this with you I'm starting to feel a bit better already. Cheers. 

My Big Secret Revealed

I did it. I finally did it. I told manfriend that I have hyperhidrosis. I'm hesitant to write this post since I also told him about the blog. If he's curious and does some basic web research he'll find me here. If you're reading this manfriend, hello, welcome to the blog. Don't worry, I will never use your real name. 

For sake of the blog being reader friendly I'll refer to manfriend as Hansel. 

Twice now I've thought about telling him about HH. For whatever reason it didn't feel quite right. Saturday night a combination of feeling secure in where we are in our relationship and wanting to open up to him made for the right HH bomb dropping conditions. There we were laying in bed having a nice time chatting. I was comfortable in his arms staring up to the ceiling when I said, "So I have something to share. I have hyperhidrosis. That's why I sweat so much." I went on to add that I've had ETS surgery and provided a quick summary of side effects I still suffer from.

This is how you should always picture us.
Moderately famous and good looking.

His response was not what I was expecting. He joked calling me a monster and told me to leave in his playful way. I was in no way offended by this but it wasn't the response I expected nor wanted. He was ready to move on to the next topic.

Wait wait wait just a hot strudel minute there my handsome Hansel. I'm not ready to move on to the next topic. I just told you my most crippling secret. LETS TALK ABOUT THIS. Instead of saying that I turned to my side and became very internal. My mind was running and I couldn't vocalize what I was feeling. A wave of emotion took over to the point where if I looked at him I was afraid I would start to cry.

He asked if I wanted to be left alone so that I could sleep. Hansel sincerely thought I was ready for slumber not that I was riding an emotional roller coaster. I mustered up some confidence to say that I was feeling shy and frankly weird after telling him. 

Then in a tender but very frank way he said, "Nothing has changed. You've told me before that you get sweaty. You're a sweaty girl. So now I know there is a name for it."

There you have it. Nothing has changed. The reveal that I was so ashamed of was simply a sharing moment. As it should be. 

Until of course summer rolls around and I don't want him to touch me because I'm most likely damp through my clothes. Ah! One step at a time though.

How have you told someone about HH? How did they react? 

Pantiliners for Sweaty Armpits

'Tis the season to fret over which dresses will and won't show pit stains. Last winter I spotted a simple yet beautiful royal blue sheath dress on sale. Pat on the back for my cost savings but immediate face palm for not knowing if this dress would show sweat. 

Classy for the holidays

Just look at that gorgeous color! How could I resist? I went all year without wearing the beaut. It wasn't until I threw my Third Annual Holiday Crock Pot Party that I had an excuse to wear it.

Yes, Crock Pot Party is exactly what you think it is. I invite a bunch of friends, they bring Crock Pots full of delicious food, there is one Crock Pot for hot cider, we drink, we are merry, and we have a fucking ball. This one was by far my favorite Crock Pot Party. 

Man friend not pictured. 

Leading up to the party I did no sweat prep. I didn't look to see if I had clean stockings without holes, I didn't see if I had a clean slip dress to wear under, and I didn't test the fabric to see how much sweat it could hold before a stain showed. Call me a wild woman.

I did go to hot yoga the morning of the party. This helps ensure I don't sweat for a few hours after. My nerves chill out a bit. 

30 minutes before getting dressed memories of past parties slapped me hard. I was reminded that it gets hot in a house filled with people, when I drink I sweat, and I start to sweat more when interacting with people I haven't seen in a while. HOLY SLOW COOKED MEATBALL WHY DIDN'T I PREPARE?

I called out to my roommate, "Laila! Can you come help me for a moment?" Her boyfriend was in the house so I couldn't quite request what I wanted. "Do you have pantiliners? I want to use them for the pits of my dress." Every so helpful she said, "Yes! And good idea!" No shame in asking.

Not just for your underwear.

I recommend buying a thicker liner. Liners that err on the side of a pad. Do not go cheap on this folks. Cheap liners will crumple up, not stick very well, and ultimately fall on the ground in front of the person you're talking to. I went with the store brand version of Always Xtra Protection line. Look for the purple box in the US. International readers if you have an equivalent let us know in the comments. 

The liners worked but not as well as I hoped. It hedged some sweating but not completely. I could've put new liners in midway through the party and that would've done the trick. 

Through the night I had no major sweat panics. Except for one brief moment. Man friend and I were walking outside when he leaned in to tell me, "There is a stain on your back." I FREAKED OUT internally. I slyly walked through the party trying not to show my back.

Was it a period stain? A sweat stain? I was feeling dewey all over. Oh my god I have a huge sweat stain on my back.

I go to my bathroom to see a small white spot of powdered sugar. I didn't even bother wiping it off. I marched outside and informed man friend that he gave me an unnecessary heart attack and to NEVER do that again.

It's reported to be 81 degrees in LA on Christmas. Bah humbug. 

Disney's Frozen for the Sweaty

It's screener season in Los Angeles. Friends and bosses of friends start receiving films in the mail to consider for awards season. It's a beautiful thing to watch new releases for free from the comfort of your own space. 

Last night the man friend and I watched Frozen at my request. I highly recommend this film to anyone with a soul. I'll warn the music isn't up to Disney classic standards. That said, I loved this film. My HH friends you will relate to this film.

Girl, I know that look.

I choked up when Elsa has her coronation to be queen. She wears gloves to mask her magical powers that torment her. Her hands tremble as she faces the crowd on what's supposed to be a joyous occasion. The anguish that almost paralyzes her is something we can all relate to with HH. How closely the story is tied to her hands is really something sweet for us. 

Also, Olaf is now one of my new favorite Disney characters. He gave me some hearty belly laughs. Thanks, Olaf you're the best. All things cheesy and delightful bring them my way.

More Olaf!

Although I was pumped to watch the film I wasn't the most relaxed to start. It was my last date night for a long while with man friend. We were a little frantic getting together since he completely forgot the actual date he was flying home for Christmas. He had planned for another day in LA while his plane ticket did not. So I rushed home and packed a bag to stay the night. 

I forgot to pack socks. Such an amateur move. How did I forget to pack SOCKS?! I threw on my lounge clothes and a pair of slip on shoes. It should be burned in my memory that when I lounge around I need to wear socks. This isn't a new revelation. I cannot have my feet dangling free. 

To top it off it was hot in his apartment. I immediately questioned if the heater was on. It was not. I then asked if we could open the door to let in fresh air. Fresh air was not making its way in quickly enough. Feet were dripping wet. I sat with my legs crossed hoping my pants would mop up the sweat. I became uncomfortable. I flopped around trying to find the perfect sweat wicking position. He was none the wiser of my droplets but I feared him finding out.

My body must have been radiating heat because asked if he should open a window. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES. There was a nice cross breeze that moved through the stuffy apartment. Finally, I was able to kick my legs out across the couch and focus on the film. My sweating subsided. They were still clammy but they were manageable and less embarrassing. 

When we started chatting after the film the sweating started up again. A fun reminder that I can't always have complete control. I had a similar takeaway from watching Frozen.

I'm planning to have "SOCKS" tattooed on my arm real soon. 

Tumblr, Baking Soda Remedy, & Labeling

If you haven't ventured into the Tumblr world I encourage you to go dabble. Dip your toe in. Start with a quick "hyperhidrosis" tag search. You'll find a plethora of young users reaching out for help or at least a little understanding and acceptance. It's quite magical. I thank the powers that be everyday that I didn't have social media in high school BUT this is kind of awesome.

Here's a message you might find interesting I received on Tumblr:

Wow it just occurred to me to look for a hyperhydrosis tag on Tumblr and found your blog :) It's so nice to see that I'm not alone with this shit (which for me is a curse mostly because of social expectations about 'hygiene' and people assuming sweating means I'm nervous...).  

Anyway, two things that are in my mind:   

1) After experimenting with lots of kinds of deodorants a few years ago I found that putting Soda Bicarbonate powder on my armpits totally vanishes any sweat odor. It works wonders for me.

via Etsy

This is great to hear! I've never attempted to use Soda Bicarbonate or baking soda. I used it recently with my shingles disaster and it worked wonders to relieve itching. Hoorah for a natural remedy and not to mention dirt cheap. All deodorants have curbed my odor in my armpits. However baking soda might be something to consider for my groin (smelly hoohah, ugh), and perhaps my feet. 

Quick Baking Soda Remedies

2) Would you (or your followers) consider hyperhidrosis a disability? Because in a social context it does mean a lot of handicap and embarrassment, also makes some everyday activities more difficult or dangerous to do (eg. handling knives). I'm curious about the views of other people living with this condition.

What are your thoughts? We want to hear from you.

We all agree hyperhidrosis can be crippling. There are examples of people unable to perform their job due to hyperhidrosis who were then able to collect disability insurance. I know this to be true because I was denied disability insurance after having ETS surgery because of said examples. That's a post for another day.

My personal opinion, please by all means disagree in the comments, is if we consider hyperhidrosis a disability we're doing ourselves a disservice. We a creating a crutch for sufferers to fall on instead of empowering each other. We are fully capable of taking care of ourselves with HH. My daily functions are not put to a halt because of HH. They might be compromised. That said, I don't think we can fall in the ranks of those who need special assistance to get by. 

Instead of drawing attention to hyperhidrosis as a disability I would rather we draw attention to HH in general. Educating teachers, doctors, and employers that someone with HH is not excessively sweating because they're nervous or have poor hygiene we're simply being.

What do you have to say?

ETS Surgery Side Effects

By and large, the post that generates the most traffic to the blog is My Experience with ETS Surgery. You want to know what's up! I get it. I'm a real life example of the surgery working and not working.

My message remains consistent: 

Think twice before having the surgery and question everything your surgeon tells you. 

Think about it.

The original post is rather lengthy. If you're thinking of having the surgery I highly recommend reading the entire post and shooting me an email with any follow up questions you might have. Take off the rose colored glasses, this surgery has it's pitfalls that come along with the glorious feeling of dry hands.

Side Effects of Endoscopic Thoracic Sympathectomy

Warm food or drink induced sweat: 
The back of my neck and chest sweats when I eat fast, or when I drink/eat anything warm.

Spicy food induced sweat: 
My face sweats when I eat anything spicy. I used to eat spicy food boldly now I eat it with a bit of concern. My face takes on a slick glossy glow. It's a different kind of sweat. Let me emphasize this, it's my entire face that is sweating. It's a bummer constantly asking to hold the peppers or asking if salsa can come on the side. Mexican, Thai, Korean, BBQ... it can get tricky.

Boob sweat: 
My boobs sweat a lot more. Changing bras in the summer time is something I've become used to. Constantly checking to see if I have an underboob stain on my shirt is nothing foreign. I've had more than one experience of a girlfriend of mine grabbing a necklace I'm wearing and getting a bit of sweat on their hands. Strange that's happened more than once.

DRIPPING body sweat: 
I can't walk down the street or up a flight of stairs without breaking a sweat. LAYERS all the time. When I lay out at the pool I am constantly jumping in the water. Sweat? No, no that's pool water. Oh, you're not convinced? Time to jump in again. 

Now that its winter I experience this less but I also haven't been walking around the town much. Two recent examples of dripping sweat: 

One) I walked less than half a mile to a neighborhood restaurant. My entire back was dripping and my boobs were quite damp. A trip to the bathroom and some calming breaths I was able to stop the sweating. If you're a city dweller who loves walking this surgery is going to cause you troubles. 

Two) I was enjoying game night at a friends. I had a hot cider, some heavy foods, and it was a bit stuffy in the room. That reads as a combination for disaster. A friend and I were beginning to catch up and all of a sudden I started dripping sweat. She couldn't notice since it was on my body but I was very uncomfortable. So uncomfortable it compromised our conversation. I wasn't engaged and slightly panicky. 

I cannot emphasize this enough. DRIPPING sweat. Large beads of sweat. My body would sweat before but now instead of my hands dripping my body is. Mostly my back, chest and legs. 

Sweaty knees: 
When I go for a run or hike I have really weird lines of sweat running down. No one else has legs that look like this. If I'm in a setting that's 65+ degrees just sitting my legs are much sweatier than before the surgery. 

Upper back sweat: 
My upper back never used to sweat outside of the norm. Now racerback tank tops are my best friend. I also have a good collection of cotton dresses that I can wear under my dresses. Bare upper back anything is rarely found in my wardrobe. 

Slower heart rate: 
My heart rate is slower. This is more of a positive for the longevity of my heart. 

Considering all the above my hands do not sweat. I cannot deny that having sweat free hands has really changed my life, but I do not live sweat free. It is important to me to share these side effects with you because I was naive and misinformed going into my surgery. 

Goodbye Summer, You Weren't So Bad

Fall is upon us. I can hardly get out of bed in the morning, after all the sun is not even ready for the day at 6:30 am. It's near impossible to emerge from my cozy covers when it's pitch black out. As I drifted off to bed last night without sweaty feet I realized it's been a while since I had to put on socks at bed time to soak up the dampness. It was truly a mild summer.

Look at that nerd geeking out over Chardonnay at the beach in November. 

Was it a mild summer or was I just boring? I played it safe this year. I avoided bars and drank cooler beverages. My social life was filled with familiar faces and places avoiding unexpected scenarios. I went to the beach only once, and I sought out shade whenever possible. Is this what growing up is like? Making a concious effort to make sure I'm comfortable? Maybe.

If You Get Caught In A Heat Wave - Sara's Adult Minded Tips (Even If It Is a Bit Too Late)

1. Stay in the shade. 

Don't worry about getting a tan. You're only going to get wrinkles, sun damage, and a sweat stain out of it. Tell the sun to take a hike.  

2. Drink ice water. 

This one you've heard before but it really does help keep your insides cool and our fucked up internal thermostats in check.  

3. Avoid hard liquor. 

Getting drunk really quick is fun when you're 19, pounding shots of flavored vodka to get the courage to dance on tables. Then you wake up the next morning and see your pit stains tagged all over Facebook. Drink slow and drink less hard liquor so that you wake up worry free. 

An almanac could tell me the highs and lows of Los Angeles. But who has time for that?! I'll say the sun scorched a little less leaving me a touch more dry, AND I took extra caution to manage my sweat. A splendid combination. 

Although I am embracing my favorite time of year with a full heart I can't say that summer was all that awful. I could use another beach day. 

How did everyone else cope with summer? Confidence peaking with cool breezes?

Your Friend's Coworker Probably Has Hyperhidrosis

My new apartment has no cable nor a working television. Being deprived of basic entertainment has translated to long conversations with my roommates on our uncomfortable couch. You know, talking and catching up. Just enjoying each others conversation. I'm not a chatty person so I'd prefer to feast on Bravo reality but I'll adjust. 

Living with three girls is like an SNL skit sometimes

Last night after yoga feeling sweat free I sat with one of the roomies. Not only was I not sweating but I didn't need to wear socks. When it was clear we were going to hang out I scurried to my room to find a pair of socks. There wasn't a pair handy. Ruffling my bed I hoped a pair might fall out. No stray socks to be found. I walked back out to the living room in a daringly without socks. 

After yoga I generally have about an hour window or more where I don't sweat. My body must be so tapped out of sweating that it needs a break. Read more about my yoga recommendations. 

Back to the point. Roomie and I got to talking about our health issues. Turns out I had never told her about my hyperhidrosis. Like everyone else I've told she had no idea and never noticed. We worked together for about a year. She saw me five days a week. How could she have not smelled my sweaty self on those days that the air conditioning broke in our office?

We continued to swap insecurities with our health issues. She is very open so I already knew a bit of her medical issues but I assured her I would have never caught on had she not told me. She then told me her boyfriend's coworker had hyperhidrosis. I remembered another friend had told me her coworker has hyperhidrosis. Where were these people when I was a teenager? I could've used examples of real people within my social network. Sure I will probably never meet these coworkers but THEY'RE REAL. 

I shamefully adore watching Bravo's Eat Drink Love

The more you start chatting the smaller the world gets.  Here I am having real conversations instead of judging my life against stupid reality TV shows. Imagine that. 

More chatting less TV. Don't be fooled into thinking I will give up TV completely. I'm currently binge watching Breaking Bad on Netflix (OMG that show makes me so tense). 

The Worst Infographic You'll Ever Read

I have google alerts set for "Hyperhidrosis" and "Excessive Sweating" hoping that I will stumble upon the latest on both topics so that I can share them with you. I'm sure you've noticed I haven't shared much. Big surprise there isn't much to share. 

Today I was ecstatic to read, "Infographic explains excessive sweating statistics." AWESOME. Via Sweat Shield Undershirt.

Right?

No.

OK... to be fair, they did try and that's more than anyone else can say. The truth is though, what do we care about statistics? It's a jumble of numbers that don't speak to us. It lets us know that we're not alone. That's cool. 

You can see the infographic below. If it resonates with you please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your positive perspective. Also, their product may be great. Who knows? Not me. 

Working in the world of marketing I know how hard it is to make information sexy, easy to read, and resonate with the reader. I laugh at how this inforgraphic completely misses the mark. I want to buy the person who was put up to the challenge to make this and buy the poor soul a beer. They were probably given very limited resources and no real background in marketing to us sweaty folk. 

My level of patience is wafer thin. It's Friday. Perhaps I need a drink.

Cheers!

It's Freezing in My Office

Oh hello, it's your fair weather blogger here. I started a new job!

The best part of the new job? It's freezing in my office.

This post is without any insight on sweating. I have no fancy tricks to offer you. Instead, to keep this blog going I'm going to try and write more about my daily life. I had a bit of tunnel vision and it's time to refocus on my life at large as a sweater.

Some of you may know I had a two month employment hiatus. I was funemployed if you will. After being at a job that I was miserable at I took a seasonal position with a well known film festival. The festival was an incredible experience, and the team I worked with was amazing. Once my position ended I really enjoyed those magical two months off. My sweating was at an all time low. I wonder if Europeans with HH sweat less because they are able to take longer vacations.... holidays. I haven't had an extended break like that since the summer between junior and senior year of college. That was many moons ago.

About the time I was starting to get anxious about finding work an opportunity to leave the nonprofit industry (my background), and join a marketing team for a toy company. An awesome coworker at my seasonal gig had put me in touch with the toy company. It was a scary moment leaving an industry for one I had no experience with and uhhh... I took a huge pay cut. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to make ends meet and I was nervous to go into the unknown.

Happy at work. [I do not work with Kermit.]

I made the right decision. Not only do I hardly sweat at work, but I am genuinely happy at work. My silly nature is perfect for marketing toys. I am learning and absorbing so much already. I am also in an einvronment where my superiors want to nurture my growth with the company.

Here's to a new branch off the career tree!

Brace Yourself. Summer Is Coming.

Where you are it might be snowing. Here in Los Angeles we've already seen highs in the 80s this month. Being uber anxious for summer (good and bad) I started preparing for the impending heat waves in January.

Why so soon? And prepare for what?

In the summer I find it nearly impossible to make a quick decision on what to wear. My favorite pink shorts I can only wear in spring. Come summer I'm too nervous my butt sweat will show through. Every shirt must be layered with a tank top to absorb body sweat. So on and so forth. Thus, I've begun scouting sweat friendly outfits now. There is nothing worse than going shopping in the summer and being smacked in the face with outfit choices that only accentuate my sweating problem.

How anyone can wear silk in the heat of summer?!

On a good note, I'm stoked about some recent finds and thought I'd share them with you.

SHOES! 

My go to shoes since college are usually TOMS, but I felt like mixing it up this year. I've gone through at least three pairs of red TOMS in the last few years. A costly shoe to keep replacing.

Reef's Tropic Slip-Ons

Also available in red.

I bought these primarily to wear with sun dresses. The neutral color they go with everything. My feet tend to swell when sweaty making these shoes a little tight, and not ideal to wear when walking a lot. For the purpose of prancing around a bar or around the office they're great. The extra cushioning is a nice touch.

Reef Sunset Slip-Ons

These were quite a bargain as my size was on sale. They have the same cushioning sole as the beige slip ons above. These will be great for day to day wear. Covering the top part of my foot I won't have to worry about sweat showing as I run around town in these.

and my most coveted find:

Target's Marguerite Closed Wedge Espadrille

So many espadrille wedges are open toed, and that just won't fly. In college I had a similar pair from Target that I wore to DEATH. They were so disgusting by the time I finally threw them out. They absorbed sweat and went with all my going-out-on-the-town outfits and summery dresses. When I spotted their latest rendition I clamored to find my size. I snagged the last pair of eights. The lining of the shoe is made of cotton to help wick away sweat. The sole is made from fake leather which will help minimize stench. They feel a tad loose but that will be perfect when my feet are little balloons from the heat. I've held off on wearing them now so that they will last me all summer long. Ahhhh I can't wait to rock these.

With my new shoes I will try and abide by my promise to wear shoe liners. Read my post on shoe liners; how they help save your shoes, and keep you in your shoes. 

Please share any sweat friendly finds you have in the comments. My style isn't for everyone. You may have the perfect outfit that someone else might be dying to find. 

My Massage Experiences Illustrated with the Help of Jennifer Lawrence

I've had five massages in my twenty six years of living so it hardly makes me an expert. I am an expert regarding the anxiety of getting a massage though. Last night being the frugal fabulous city living lady that I am I broke down and bought a deal on one of those flash sites. My bargain promised a massage and body scrub in glamorous North Hollywood (read: potentially sketchy).

Below I recount my dabbles with strangers massaging my body for your reading pleasure (I hope). Good news! We end on a happy tale. Funny enough I'm watching Celeste & Jesse Forever and there is a massage scene going on RIGHT NOW. I call that a sign.

The Ugly - Reflexology
One of my girlfriends Sam decided we should go to one of those cheap massage parlors. You see them all over in LA and Orange County. They're generally $20-$45 for a quick rub down. Nervously I asked my friend to describe what its like.

She tells me, "It's just a big room of people. You have your clothes on. It's nothing fancy but it feels amazing." 

Slightly panicking knowing I couldn't get out of it, "OK so you leave your clothes on? I guess I could do that. It's just ummm my feet... they get... clammy." 

Sam was keen on getting her kinks out could sense I was ready to back out, "You will do fine. They put your feet in a bucket of water. C'mon let's go."

They touch your feet?

My insides were curdling. My knots were creating knots. The backs of my legs were sweating with semi noticeable sweat stains on my yoga pants. The trip was already completely counter productive.

It was just as she described. However there was so much emphasis on the feet as this was a reflexology spa. I use the word spa loosely. First putting your feet in a bucket of hot water I could feel the sweat tingle come on-- that slight sting feeling that comes with nervous sweating. Although they were in a bucket of water I just knew they were dripping sweat.

The old man pulled my feet out of the bucket after a few minutes and began to put pressure on them. By rubbing the feet with certain pressure points reflexologists can release tension in other parts of the body. It's pretty fascinating but very uncomfortable with sweaty feet.

I could not stop sweating. My feet soaked the pillow they were resting on. I was mortified. By the time he worked his way to my back I wanted to run out the door. Instead I stayed like a tense ball ready to explode at any moment.

I will never get a reflexology massage again. If you have sweaty feet and are tangled by the idea of someone touching your feet RED ALERT AVOID REFLEXOLOGY. I have friends who swear by reflexology and love a quick trip in an Asian oasis. I envy their ease. But at the end of the day that shit just isn't for me.

The Bad - Chatty Cathy
Right after my parents divorced my mom decided we should take a trip to Hawaii in an attempt to have a bit of peace. It turned into a sad reminder our family was no more. I digress though, I had some pennies saved and thought a massage could help my aching heart.

At 19 I was not confident in speaking up for myself. I let the massues do what she thought was best. I cringed as she massaged my feet.

She commented on my sweating.  That is one of my ultimate pet peeves-- pointing anything physically out of the norm on someone.

She had a tone like she was going to scold me. Then trying to suggest that I wasn't drinking enough water. Oh and she rattled on what was best for my acne. Congratulations lady you just announced that you are aware that I am sweaty. As if it was the first time I was hearing it. Good. For. You. Do you feel like you found the holy grail? I'm sorry I don't have a medal for you.

For fucks sake.

Wow. I just got heated remembering that moment.

Really though, this goes for anyone and any slight abnormal "thing" they may have. All that comes of it is embarrassment and the person who calls it out gets nothing. For the love of sanity think before you speak people.

The rest of the massage was fine. Just heightened insecurity is all.

The Good- Hot Oil. Rub it all over me.
The quaint spa in North Hollywood was a dream come true. The massues used hot oil which meant my sweat and the oil just kind of mixed together. I was confident the massues couldn't tell I was sweating and if she did she didn't say a god damn thing because she's the BEST.

Don't leave! I want this to last forever.

My massage was followed up with a sea salt scrub that again masked any and all sweat. The salt also helped leave my skin smooth and sweat free for a few hours after my relaxing retreat.

Parting Words
In conclusion, know that you're in charge and there are options for everyone. I always read Yelp reviews to get a sense of the spa. Just want your back and shoulders massages and hands avoided? Ask for it. You deserve it!

Let Jennifer Lawrence inspire you to enter a spa with confidence but not necessarily grace. She is true to herself and America is loving it.

Screw the norm. I get what I need.

Natural Remedy: Sage

As a self proclaimed faux hippie I thought it would be prudent to find a natural remedy to tackle my hyperhidrosis. But let's be real here. I am VERY skeptical that an herb treatment can calm my crazy sweats.

Through basic web based research Sage presented itself multiple times through various sources as the solution for excessive sweating.

The active substance of the sage – possibly mainly its ethereal oil – regulates the secretion of the sweat to a normal stage and also regulates the central nervous system, which is responsible for the control of the sweat glands.  So says sweating-help.com

Stage ONE

Not into the idea of sage tea baths (my bathtub is useless at holding water) and not willing to invest in herbal teas (the ones I saw seemed a little high to me) I went for sage capsules.

Just under $15

Verdict? Save your fifteen dollars. I took the capsules religiously for a few weeks in the morning and at night and did not see any reduction in sweating.

Stage TWO

Not ready to give up I continued to read that steeping sage for tea was successful for some helping reduce sweating by 50%. While writing and researching this post at the library yesterday I realized I was just down the street from a local health food store. I packed up my laptop and marched right on to see if they had any sage products.

I first peeked at the dry seasoning aisle. They had some derivitive of sage that I just couldn't imagine how I would soak in hot water. I then proceeded to the cosmetic aisle where I thought my brain was going to explode from sensory overload. SO many options and no idea what ingredients are in the products. I then peered into the tea aisle and low behold I found this:

Sage tea bags for $2.99!

I immediately felt like an idiot for not checking this out sooner. I could certainly splurge three dollars for this experiment.

I followed eHow's guide for sage tea: http://www.ehow.com/way_5457392_much-should-taken-excessive-sweating.html

1. Boil a cup of water
2. Pour boiled water on tea bag and let it steep for 4-5 minutes
3. DO NOT steep for more than 5 minutes. This will cause the sage to lose active ingredients meant to stop sweating and it can make it poisonous. Yikes!
4. The tea is very "earthy" smelling. Meaning it smells like shit so squeeze a wedge of lemon and bit of honey to taste. 
5. Let cool and drink!

Drinking it now it's not bad at all with the lemon and honey. My plan moving forward is to make every morning and let cool while I take my morning shower. 

I also rubbed the tea on my feet. To keep things easy I am going to focus on my feet for now and if it works move on to other areas.

Tea treat for my feet.

I recommend making a separate cup of tea that you dab your sponge or wash cloth in and another that you drink. I'm not thrilled at the extra dishes and cloths I'll need to wash but they are small sacrifices.

This experiment will take a few weeks. I'll be sure to report out if I do in fact see any results.

If you have a recipe you've found successful please share in the comments!

Fall Out and Get Back Into It

"It hurts sometimes when you’re healing. It’s the sensation of your heart growing bigger. It’s the feel of your old scar tissue breaking up and stretching. It’s the tight and fearful knots of emotion opening up and learning to relax. Those old hurts were actually shrinking your heart with tension, the way tightness in the back can curve and distort the spine. I know it hurts, but you can learn to experience these feelings as intense sensation and simply surrender yourself; trusting that a new and better you will soon emerge. Fear and resistance will increase the pain. Love and acceptance will ease it. Let your Heart open wide. You’ll be opening up more room in your life for love."

— Dorothy Mendoza Row

The above passage was read in my yoga class this evening. Wow. I urge you to reread it. Let that sink in.

It hurts to heal. 

The scar tissue I have built up around my heart. Hacking through it. 

That is a powerful visual that I completely embrace and am so thankful for. 

I've begun trying to shed the fears I've developed from hyperhidrosis, but I had a bit of a set back recently. My friends and I had a fabulous evening drinking and watching the TLC instant classic made for TV movie "Liz & Dick." We were having a merry ol' time laughing and throwing out pithy one liners. I decided to take my comments to Twitter. My friend tweeting next to me leaned over to see my account. I hesitated. I froze a bit. 

Don't panic.

Him, "Hey what's your twitter handle?" I gave him my personal account. An account I wasn't tweeting from. He leaned in again to see the name on my screen. Clearly I was not tweeting from my personal account. Me, "Oh yea... I have another Twitter account. It's mostly teen followers. They might find this stuff funny." I straight up panicked. I began to get warm. I did not want to tell him.

What happened to the new confident me that was ready to be completely honest about hyperhidrosis?! I felt like I was failing our community of sweaters. 

In yoga during standing bow, my favorite pose, the instructor tells you to kick your leg into your hand as hard as you can, so hard you feel like you might fall over. They then follow it up with if you fall out of the pose get right back into it.

So, in that moment I fell out. I went back to the scar tissue. Thinking of all the times I've been embarrassed by my sweating. It hurts sometimes to move forward when you remember the past that gave you that scar tissue. I will sweat through it and get back into it.

If you have a story like this please share in the comments. How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Anxious for the holidays? Drop me a line.

Also, there have been some great questions posted on Tumblr. Check out what others have to say. 

Let's Catch Up

I started this blog with an energy that inspired me to blog consistently for a month and a half. What a glorious energy it was. It came to a halt though. So I thought I’d take a moment to update you all on what's going on in my world.

Recently I put in my resignation notice at work. This was a terrifying moment that gave me nightmares. To heighten my fears, in the weeks leading up to my resignation one woman was fired after only a week and another woman who was hired into the department quit after a week. That means I've been a department of one... which can you call it a department with just one person? Anyhow, I'd been working solo for some time so it was hard to tell my boss I too was jumping ship. I thought for sure he'd throw a man-child fit.

Since ETS surgery I get very cold whenever I'm nervous. My body literally freezes. Ever the planner, on the day I broke the news to my boss I made sure to wear shoes that covered my whole foot and would not show sweat. I also wore a thick pair of jeans since he has a leather couch in his office that I’d need to sit on. I was prepared but my body still quivered from the cold and there was a quiver to my voice to match.

To my surprise my boss took the news quite well and actually congratulated me on my next move. My coworkers all said "Don't expect them to fight for you." It was disappointing that he didn't counter but I've learned this rarely happens. In today's job market you are replaceable. That was proven to me when I met my potential replacement. I was so thrilled when I shook her hand and it was really damp. My boss can be intimidating so I'm sure her nerves were shaken. I doubt she has HH but feeling the sweat on her hands I immediately felt a connection with her.

So what’s the new job you wonder? I will be starting a three month position with a very prominent nonprofit organization.  It's a short term job with a pay cut and no health benefits. My mind is a million places wondering what is going to happen next. Losing health insurance is the biggest blow since I finally found a doctor I liked and he has prescribed me a medication to help with my sweating (more on that soon, I haven't started taking it). How will I afford the prescription without insurance? Capitol Hill, you will see me marching. My ballot this election is heavily influenced by our candidates’ dedication to reforming the healthcare sector.

GLORIOUS snow weather.

Another perk of the new job is that I will be taking a two week trip to the snow. I could not be happier to know that I will be living in frigid temps. Living in LA, heading to wintery weather and living in the snow for two weeks is a big deal. Actually, it’s GLORIOUS. I know I will truly be at my most confident. And as soon as I'm sick of schlepping in wet terrain it will be time to come home. I pray that I don't get stuck in some ridiculous heater situation.

My most pressing worry now is picking out a bar for my farewell drinks. Must make sure there is solid AC so I don't feel nervous hugging people goodbye. Can never be too prepared.

Another update I have in the works is my dating life. Although it may be lacking it's never boring.

Until next time...